Mary lived at home until she married around age 22-23. Her first husband was a man of modest means and they proceeded to bounce around through two homes, in the next few months. Mary got pregnant, then misfortune struck. George her husband, died when she was 6-7 months pregnant and he had left her with no means of support.
Mary returned to her parent’s home, penniless, and gave birth to her son George jr. in 1844. It was the custom, if not law, that Mary’s father was now in charge of Mary’s life. Mary was grief stricken and probably scared about her future in this strict household. She virtually took to her bed and her old habits. Her mother waited on her hand and foot and on baby Georgie, too. Mary probably felt really awful, was in a state of grief over her widowhood and may have suffered from post-partum depression. She believed she was too sick to deal with him at all, let alone 24/7. She let others raise Georgie and she just visited him. Georgie had a wet nurse, because Mary could not relate to him in a physical way at all. She was gently distant even when she was present with him.
Mary and Georgie continued to live at home as did other siblings. This was another indication that her father had the means to support them all, if not in terribly grand style. This situation was maintained for 5 years, until her mother died in 1849. (when M was 29 years old and had been out of the home less than a year of her life)- and her father remarried a year later. Mary seems to have had a suitor who died too. This was a lot of anguish and hopes dashed for a one year period.
Her father remarried after an appropriate amount of time and he specifically said his daughters could to continue to live there but Georgie was not allowed to live there any more. I wonder why and I think that when Mary’s mother died, there was no one to love and actually oversee the care of Georgie, whom she rather spoiled and he probably adored. He was 5-6 and no one gave a thought to his grief, let alone Mary. He became very difficult over the next year and Mary had to let neighbors take care of him. He went back and forth and began what we know call “acting out” and it caused the grandfather to make such a pronouncement. People back then had no realizations of a child’s grief. Mary took up her sister’s offer to move in with her, but the sister did not want Georgie, either. Mary’s father then paid a farm family with close ties from former employment to the Bakers, to foster George. This family kept him and raised him in a nearby town.
Mary became desperate, loathing the restrictions on her life and money, she was so desperate that in 1853 she married a charming and rakish itinerant dentist in an effort to gain control of her own life. He promised her the world and to get her son back. He spent money and womanized but he moved Mary to the town where Georgie lived, two years later. Soon after this time she lost total touch with Georgie when the family who fostered him moved out west.
Mary went back to her sickbed and despaired at her failure to raise George as the child deserved. She became totally unable to function from depression, despair, and physical problems. Mary sat at home, alone and rued life for about 6-8 years . Perhaps when Her Lothario finally deserted her for the Civil war she learned to live on her alone. I guess there was enough money for her to live somewhere and to engage in the series of cures she began to chase in 1862 or so. He father was still alive and may have helped her out.
Understanding Mortal Mind 